Every week I run into people who appear to have given up on their goal of finding a new partner, whether it’s a long term marriage commitment or even a casual relationship. It always intrigues me because I’d never give up. I know that if I were alone today that I could find someone to spend time with. I just know it all the way to my bones. So why don’t they?

Self-confidence is a problem for many. They don’t think someone like them just the way they are. To be honest, in some cases it’s true. If someone doesn’t like themselves very much, chances are nobody else is going to like them either. Most people in this group should make a list of their good qualities and see just how special they really are.

Then there are the ones who tend to give up rather than feel like a failure if they don’t find someone right away. Seriously, does it matter to anyone whether you’re with a partner or not? Maybe your mother but frankly, that’s it. Nobody really gives a shit, and even if they notice, they’ll only notice it for about 5 minutes and then they’re on to thinking about someone else.

Some people think that dating and meeting new people takes too much time and they don’t have much to spare. In reality, it does take a bit of time but that’s what quality lives are made of. Our personalities are forged by the friends we have and if you don’t have many, you’re a pretty sad person I think, and your personality has suffered for it.

So if you’re looking for a new relationship in your life and you’ve read this far, I’ve got good advice for you.

Keep on trying. Join a dating site if you haven’t already and write to as many people as you can that you think might fit your requirements. Be as particular as you want to be because there are lots and lots of people looking on any day that you show up.

My sage advice (I’m old you know):

Don’t worry that you’ll write to a bunch of people who won’t reply or won’t want to meet you. It doesn’t matter. You won’t be right for everyone. The real fact is that you won’t get a reply from any email you don’t send.

For those of you who’ve wondered if I fell off the turnip truck on the way to town, nothing as lucky as that. I had my gall bladder out and ended up at home with a nasty staph infection. I never realized how serious the superbug crisis was until it happened to me.

If you have surgery or really if you go into the hospital for anything at all, make sure that you wash your hands every 30 seconds or use that instant hand santizer stuff. I wish I had.

But, I’m back, sort of. Still on drugs but feeling immensely better and I have a smile on my face today.

An official government report in the UK recommends that children as young as 11 should be given compulsory lessons on sexually transmitted diseases and contraception. All secondary students should be taught about infections such as chlamydia and also taught how to put on a condom.

The document, compiled by a panel of sexual health experts for Ministers, has horrified and angered many parents who do not want their children involved in explicit lessons on sex. The current law says that pupils must only be taught the bare minimum biology of sex, and how the body changes during puberty. Teachers are encouraged to teach students about relationships, how STDs are transmitted and how to use contraception, including how condoms are put on. Most teachers allow parents to exclude their children from these classes.

The UK has one of the highest rates of teenage pregnancy in Western Europe and abortion rates are climbing towards 200,000 a year. Will teaching a child how to put on a condom ensure that he will use it when the time comes? Maybe. I think it would be a good idea to not only teach kids about sex but also what a healthy, monogamous relationship is like.

If sex and relationships education is made a statutory subject, then parents would have no say on what is taught. It will be a biggie to get some parents to agree. Sure, they should have input but parents have been in control all this time and their guidance certainly hasn’t lowered teen pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections!

The sexual health report, released July 28th, also called for easier access to abortion and better availability of contraceptives. Its main recommendation was on making sexual and relationship education (SRE) a statutory responsibility for secondary schools.

Making sex and relationship education compulsory will secure its place in the curriculum with equal access for all students, and will ensure schools have appropriately trained teachers.

Baroness Gould, who chaired the group, said: ‘We must have consensus that good sex and relationships education is essential if we want our young people to live free from disease, have reduced pregnancy and abortion rates, and experience fulfilled sexual lives as adults.

Rebecca Findlay, from the Family Planning Association, said the problems of teen pregnancy, abortion and STIs were too important ‘just to let young people get on with them’. She said, “Young people live in a very sexualised society which is very pressured and they need advice and help to make sense of it. When sexual and relationship education is given, young people are less likely to become sexual at a younger age.”

Yesterday one of our staffers brought a member problem to me to decide how to handle it. A woman has been a paying member since 2002 (yep, that’s right) and her credit card is going to be updated and she’s afraid she will have to pay the current membership fee which is well above what it cost in 2002. I told my employee how to handle it so the woman could continue paying the same price but it made me think.

Why would anyone need to be a member of a dating site for more than 6 years?

Surely in that amount of time you could find someone to go out with. The more I thought about it, the more curious I became so I decided to do some investigating and see what she’s been up to.

Sure enough, she joined in 2002 and has written to ….get ready for it… more than 1000 men. Most have written back to her according to the logs. At first I thought maybe she was a professional who was using our site to get customers but I noticed one name in the logs that I recognized so I wrote to him and asked about her. Turns out, she just loves to date. She doesn’t want a relationship that lasts very long because she likes the excitement of a new relationship.

In all the years I’ve been running a dating site, I’d never met a female serial dater like this. I’ve seen a bargeful of men who are afraid of commitment but most women are looking for a more secure relationship.

I was intrigued.

So I wrote to her and thanked her for being such a loyal member of our site and could she indulge me and answer a few questions. Here are the questions and her answers.

How many men have you met in person? More than 250

How many of these men did you meet for a second date? About 20 or 30

How often do you meet men for dates? Every weekend

Do you usually have sex on the first date? It all depends - many times I do but not always

Are you a member at other adult dating sites? No, I keep busy right here and I love the chatrooms

Do you think you’ll ever settle down with just one? Maybe. I’m 42 now and as I get older I might want just one but at the moment I crave variety.

Mr. Flirty keeps telling me that my own views are not the views of every woman and this one has really shaken me. I have a tough time with the first time naked scene so it would be difficult to be with a different man every weekend. Could you date different people every weekend for years?

Have you ever heard of this site? If you haven’t you’re about one in about ten who haven’t. It’s near the top of the Alexa rankings. They’re the folks that keep tabs on all the websites and let you know which sites are most popular. DivineCaroline.com is a class act from beginning to end.

I was sent the link by someone and I started to have a look around and in just a few minutes I wanted to make a comment. Usually when that happens I try to bite my fingers off because I know I’ve got to put my details in and then wait around for mail to get on a carrier pigeon and then I have to validate the mail and by then I’ve forgotten the name and password. Not so with DivineCaroline.com. They didn’t ask for many details and then POOF I was in. Not only that, but the first page you get to after logging in the first time gives you all the options on what to do next.

The site is filled with great articles about everything from relationships, food, travel, fashion, careers, money — frankly anything that would interest a woman is here. It’s now my first go to place when I log in every day just to see who’s written what. There are also forums and a place called chitchat but I haven’t checked that out yet.

The best bit is that I’m going to contribute some articles there in the relationship section. You can too. All you have to do is have a subject to write about (they’ll even give you suggestions on that too) and then submit your article. They’ve got editors galore who’ll get your words published on the site in just a day or so.

Anyway, see you there!